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 The Huffin’ Puffin’ Post



Who’s afraid of the big bad boys in blue?

December 12, 2015


ENCHANTED FOREST, MO – How much longer must we live in fear of the ones who are meant to “serve and protect” us? Last Tuesday, the local forest police force once again demonstrated their willingness to “protect” as they took away the life of a young wolf. After a dispute with the police at Granny’s house, the 19 year-old upstanding citizen Ben Wolf was shot dead by two officers.

At around 6:07pm, the forest police station received a call from an anonymous Northside forest resident who feared “the troublesome wolf boy that was walking around.” Call records from the police station itself show that said resident went on to say, “[Ben had] not done anything yet but he sure did look suspicious to me. That messy fur coat of his just screamed trouble… Anyway, it looked like he was walking down the street towards Granny’s house. I would check it out if I were you.”

The two police officers that were closest to Granny’s house, Officer John Ham and Deputy Richard Porkins, were notified of the call and rushed over to her house. One must note that their arrival time of 6:13pm sure beats the 45 minutes they took a few weeks ago to get to an injured wolf who was assaulted by a group of lumberjacks.

Upon arrival, the officers’ inherent stereotyping of wolves caused them to jump the gun in their “investigation” after seeing some of Ben’s muddy footprints outside of Granny’s house. Based on a few bad experiences with individual wolves, the officers were supposedly able to tell that they were the “footprints of a bad wolf.” They then took it upon themselves to enter the home and confront Ben who was lying in Granny’s bed alongside her granddaughter Little Red Riding Hood.

An unnamed passerby recalls seeing “the police barge into the home and start yelling. Around 8 seconds later, shots were fired.” After pumping Ben with 32 bullets, the officers finally ceased fire and called for backup. Although the police did not have proof that Ben had done anything wrong, they took it upon themselves to end his life based on a “gut feeling.” Had they just taken the time to remain calm and discuss the matter like grown men, they may have just learned Ben’s reason for being at Granny’s.

According to Ben’s distant uncle, The Big Bad Wolf, “Ben was a boy with outstanding values and a heart of gold. Being the youngest of 14 or so kids, he raised his family by himself when his mother was ill. When I was talking to my daughter the other night, she had told me that she heard from a friend of a friend that Ben was planning on visiting the Northside of the forest to help assist the elderly. He just wanted to help others and show the world that Wolves are just as caring as everyone else.”

Ben had traveled to the Northside of the forest to help another life out. He was not looking for trouble and yet trouble found him. When interviewing some close associates of Ben’s, we learned that he “loved to entertain and spread joy.” According to these associates, “The so-called blood they found on his teeth was 99% for sure some kind of makeup that went along with the goofy Grannie get-up of his. I bet he went to entertain Little Red as Granny was getting too old to do it herself. She was probably crying tears of laughter and joy; not tears of sadness. That “body” they found in him was probably another gag too. I bet a piece of Granny’s hair just slipped into him somehow.”

If the police only took the time to learn a little more about Ben, they maybe would not have made the brash decision to take his life. Not to mention they shot 32 bullets near Little Red, also putting her in danger…

While the wolf community physically lost a true hero in their community, Ben Wolf’s spirit will live on. His death at the hands of prejudice will only wake up the entire population of the forest to see the corruption that still exists here. 


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